why I won’t stop apologizing // no. 113

I saw a quote the other day. “Girl, stop apologizing!” For some reason, it bothered me to see this. There is a culture being pushed on women to stop belittling ourselves and just go on and live how we want to. Now, I am all for living well and in a way that brings you joy, but I don’t think that has anything to do with apologies.

Why? Why do I have to stop apologizing?

What if I did something wrong? Shouldn’t I apologize then? Or does an apology mean succumbing to the inequality that still exists (in some minds) between men and women?

I believe equality also means taking ownership of yourself when you have done something wrong. Perhaps you are not sure if you’ve done something wrong, but you want to make sure that you are not harming anyone with your words or actions.

Now, I also do not think that women should feel the need to explain every little thing that they do. Women should be trusted to know how to do what they say they will do and understand how to ask for help if they need it. It’s just this notion that we, as women, don’t have to take responsibility for something that bothers me. We are as capable as men of doing something which requires an apology. Society must be so hyper-focused on the fact that men aren’t usually asked to apologize for their wrongdoings that they think all women should be exempt since they’ve been apologizing for things that were not their problems for years.

And maybe I’m just overthinking it all.

I don’t know.

This is one of those journalesque posts that really serve no one but myself in their publishing, to sit on the web and live a quiet existence but remind me of where my mind once was.
I think that is quite alright.

Maybe the author of the quote wasn’t saying all apologizing from women is bad; however, the context of a quote like that should be further explored before it is thrown to the wilds of the internet, unlike this piece, which will go forth having only been vetted by the grammar-checking service I use.

Such is the irony of life.