Dear 2021,

You have been a wild ride, in the slowest way possible. I know, it makes no sense. Yet somehow I find myself in shock that it is August and I still feel like it’s January?

What is time?!?

On the real, this has been one hell of a year. I started out with the word ‘WONDER’ as my word for 2021 then made it in an acronym (#overachiever). It broke down into three categories. I would develop a “Wellness Outlook,” I would “Nurture Discipline,” and I would “Establish Rest.”

Each of the categories is something I have been trying to do for years. As a perfectionist and procrastinator, my good intentions fall apart fast. You’d think I would be someone who plans well for being a perfectionist, but no. I work best under pressure and so most things (read, EVERYTHING) are usually saved for the last minute. I say, “Oh, I’ll have time to do that later.” The reality is yes, I will likely have time to do that later but that does not mean I cannot work towards my goal.

Of the three, establishing rest has been the most difficult. This is something I am currently working to build up in the last months of 2021. And it is definitely a work in progress. I don’t have any restful hobbies. My spare time is spent scrolling Instagram or watching YouTube videos. Not “unrestful” but not the best use of my time either.

Despite all my progress in other areas of life, I was feeling frustrated a few weeks ago. When I sat down with my counselor to talk about everything, she offered me this piece of wisdom. All waves go backward before they touch the shore. To become a wave, the water must move back before flowing in the motion that we know and see.

I hadn’t considered how much of my journey this year had been the backward tug of the wave. Now, I can see that I am still in that stage, though the water is beginning to curl towards itself and reach for the shore. It doesn’t matter though because I know that I am where I need to be. I have reached the point in my life where I am reminded that I have the freedom to prepare and to be still. It is powerful to think that the water I am in follows the guidance of the moon. It’s a detail so miraculous it could only have been set in motion by the Creator himself.

So, dear 2021, I am not through yet. I am rising on the waves, and I will reach the shores when I am meant to. Here’s to the rest of the year.

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